Monday 29 June 2009

DONT SEE BLOOD THE LAST VAMPIRE EVEN ON YOUR DEATH BED .... unless its the anime

Ok if you dont like anime go do something what means you are not reading my blog.
If you dont like spoilers put on the im not listening hat.
If you dont like pie go away because your stupid.

WARNING CONTAISN SPOILERS. BY SPOILERS I MEAN THE ENTIRE MOVIES PLOT. THE PLOT IS THAT CRAP I BLOGED IT ALL.

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You have been warned.






Me and kylie went and saw Blood the last Vampire today. We are BOTH big fans of the anime.
So we went and saw the new motion pictures with high hopes.

I can safely say after watching that movie I would rather bang my head against a solid titanium wall for a solid two hours. In doing so I would hopefully forget how bad the movie was then id go see the movie again and repeat the process until i was a retard then I would probaly continue to bash my head against the wall because of this film because even a retarded deaf and blind person could see this film was SHITE!!!

So yeah the movie starts with the classic spalsh screen with text scrolling up talking about demons and a warrior who thousdans of years ago fought them, blah blah blah. Ok so by the time this small speech was done I was already realising ... wait this isnt the Blood I remember. N0w before anyone linches me for going on about how this film isnt exactly the same as the anime. I didnt expect that at all for one thing the anime is a 30 minute short movie.

ont expect remakes to be the same i expect them to be interpirasted in a way what makes it enjoyable to watch and retains the core idea of the original.

So yeah we get to see our heroine in the classic subway scene you see at the begining of the original. Que man being slain. Noooooo hes going to fight back in a very lame way snore.

So yeah we get to the secret shadowy orginisation who follows our heroine around. Why there ae 2 twins working as cleanup men ill never know. Then we get to her 2 contacts in the spooky mysterious orginisation. Oldman is like the old man from the original but the other younger one is alot more cocky and well mroe of a arsehole but more on him later.

So the film goes on to the school scene and wow were for the moment not with saiya our heroine noe. We are now going to introduced to a new character this young lady is the daughter of the General of the Us army base which vampires are infesting. So yeah she annoyed me.

SO we get to saiya in the school hear two girls talk rudely about there new japanese class mate etc etc.

Skip to another scene where apparently this army base has a kendo class run by an american instructor whos a vampire. He then leaves the Generals daughter i nthe gym with the two annoying girls from earlier who pull out a pair of katanas and start to taunt the generals daughter not killing her outright as any smart person shoud.

By the way we now find out these girls are acctualy vampires.

So yeah saiya comesi n saversher butt she sees one of the girls be decapitated comes back with gweneral esc daddy to find the cleaner twins about to drive off and are detained. Enter saiyas contacts fro mthe mysteriousa shaow orignisation we shall now cal lthem group X we find ouit the oyunger one is more of a cocky arse than usual. SO they cover everythign up the general belives there cover story asnd off they go to get a bolockig from there superior of group X.

The generals daughter goes out to investigate her kendo instructor who goes to a little bar in town. She follows has a chat with him. Tuirns out the wholep lace is a vampire nest. Next ensues generrals daughter rtunnign away. They bumop into saiya now begins a overly long drawn out fight scene. In which by this time id finnished my Fanta frozen and was now begining to get quite bored.

SO yeah by the end of this entire sequence the kendo master trys to escape by catchign a ride on a Hercules carrier but is hacked down and thats the last of the acctual scenes from the originaql blood. Now things go from shite to extreme shitness.

The oyunger chap from Group X kills the Genertal for poking his noise where it does not concern. The gegnerals daughter sees him do this beats him sensless goes runnign back to saiya. who at the time is drinking blood. SHOCK HORROR.

yeah group X truies to kill the girl there the old man from group X after dropping off saiyas blood then comes back to find saiya and the generals daughter cornered by young agent of group X who kills the old man then Saiya kills the young one ok there dead big whoop. THe two girls escape in a treuck in which half way out of town the gnerals duaghter realises saiyas been shot. Gee what gave the game away her raggedy arse corpse swaying in the wind.

SO yeah they find a place to rest and somehow the generals daughter knows that saiya is a vampire and gives her some of her blood. How she knows this I dont know cause as far as I could tell since they met has saiya mentioned to her once about what she is.

SO yeah from here we get a intro into this directors idea of saiytas past. I got even more bored at this time. Until Kato her gaurdian in the flashback fights the ninjas cause kato was awesome in the classic yes strab mer several times I will not go down until saiyas doen a wesome move and maimed the last of you.

I fell more alseep as we got near to the end the fights boredm e the revelation that the queen of the vampires known as onigen was saiyas mother WOW did not see that one comming in a million years.

Ok so thats the movie it sucked dont see it or ill kill a puppy every time i hear someone has. I already killed 25 just becausae of that movie. ITS AWFUL DONT SEE IT.

ALso busses need air conditioning see Kylies blog to find out why.

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